DEAR BOSS, I AM ONLY TOO PLEASED TO MEET YOUR REQUIREMENTS...

Subject: Mandatory Vaccine Request
Date: (Fill in relevant date)
Department: (Human Resources)
To whom it may concern:
The safety and wellbeing of the employee should always be a priority in any successful business.
With regards to your recent request for all employees to receive the COVID 19 vaccine in order to retain their employment status, I had a few questions.
The pharmaceutical companies currently producing the vaccines are all protected under a waiver protection program provided by the government prior to initiating the production of the COVID 19 vaccine. This waiver prevents patients from being able to pursue any legal action against the pharmaceutical company should they experience any adverse effects.
The FDA has yet to authorize the COVID 19 vaccine for medical use outside of emergency authorization. The emergency authorization has long been recognized as the label the FDA provides for any drug or medication still in the experimental stages of development. Full approval is only given after strict requirements for the production and clinical data have been provided. The clinical data typically includes both short-term or acute effects that may develop from the medication in question as well as a study that provides data on the long-term health effects the medication may have upon the patient.
This puts the Covid 19 vaccine in the unusual category of experimental. This is reflected by both the waiver for the producers of the produce and emergency authorization use only by the Food and Drug Administration.
With the current experimental status of the vaccine being taken into consideration I also have to consider the fact that my health care provider could deny any medical costs that I may incur following the experimental vaccine.
As such I am sure you will be more than happy to provide me with a letter of liability from the company. If you could ensure that the letter stipulates that the company would cover all costs incurred from any adverse reaction caused by the experimental vaccine up to and including death.
Additionally, if you could provide a life and disability insurance policy should the experimental vaccine cause a disability that could prevent me from performing my duties as an employee and in the worst-case scenario, a financial payment should the vaccine result in loss of life. This policy does not have to be anything above a typical policy so feel free to duplicate the payment structure provided through my current life insurance policy.
I look forward to receiving both documents as well as the scheduled appointment for the experimental covid 19 vaccines required. Nothing is more important to a company than the safety of its employees and I look forward to working together with you to obtain this goal.
Yours Sincerely
Experimental Lab Rat